Wednesday, January 3, 2018

New Year's Resolutions and a Furry Family... Again

It's been over two years since my last post! I miss blogging! And many things have changed. A little over a month after I last posted, my little dachshund Petey got very sick, and right after the dawn of 2016 we had to say our forever goodbyes. I was beyond devastated, and then got rather sick myself with some mild-to-severe anxiety issues. Happily, I've since gotten past all that.

The biggest problem was loneliness without my best little buddy. My sympathetic nervous system just went on high alert for whatever reason, and I had nausea, trouble eating, and soaring blood pressure. Turns out that when the anxiety is controlled, so is the BP, so no austere, salt-free diet required. But it took quite a few doctor visits and prescriptions to get this all sorted.

I "somehow" adopted a high-energy older puppy from the local shelter at the end of February 2016. Her name is Daphne and she has been more delight than trial, though both are present. Then in August, Daphne found two tiny, black abandoned kittens in the ivy, and we adopted them, along with a an orange young feral male cat who had been hanging around and obviously looking for a family. Whew! The kittens are over a year  old now. Daphne and the larger of the kittens are well-matched in energy level, despite the difference in size, and it's been nice for Daf to have someone to romp and tumble with. Daf is a 45-pound Boxer-Pit Bull mix, and their seemingly rough play worried me at first, but they are devoted to one another and no harm is ever done.

Quality of life is something I am trying to focus on at this point. Between the anxiety and low-grade depression, and the increased work and energy needed to take care of my new brood, a lot of things have slipped through the proverbial cracks. Also, I realized that I need to form stronger bonds with other humans in my life. I had such a happy, comfortable life at home with my little Petey that I didn't feel the need for more than the casual friendships and acquaintances I had in my life. But when Petey was suddenly gone, I felt so bereft, and it was hard to fill the void. Putting most or all your emotional eggs in one basket, I've found, isn't such a great idea. This probably applies as much to husband-wife relationships, or any other close human tie, as it does to the relationship with a pet.

So, the things I want to focus on in the coming months are:
  • Get my home organized again and take care of any deferred maintenance issues.
  • Spend more time in the garden, culling out overgrowth and adding some nice plantings.
  • Spend more time with friends and family, and make some new friends.
  • Work on bringing more balance into my life.

Friday, November 13, 2015

My Best Purchase - A Fire 6

The very best thing I've bought in the last six months is a 6-inch Amazon Fire tablet. I find myself using it for so many different things! After doing a lot of price and feature comparisons, I consider it far and away the most cost effective tablet device available, especially for someone who uses Amazon a lot and/or is a Prime subscriber.

What I Do with My Fire

I've been amazed at how much I do with my Fire. It synchs with my Gmail and Google Calendar, so I can use it to check email and to enter or check appointments. It's really handy to check the weather. I like the Radar Express app (free) for seeing the current radar - can we squeeze in a walk before the rain starts? And the (free) Accuweather app is good for daily forecasts and weather news, including very good local weather news videos. I use the TV Listings app (free) to see what's on the tube. There's a decent calculator. And tons of other apps for whatever you want or need to do. Plus... games.

I watch TV shows and the occasional movie, almost exclusively on my Fire via streaming video from various sources (I've successfully used it with Amazon Prime, Hulu, Xfinity, Netflix, Youtube, and PBS). The case allows me to stand it up for hands-free watching, but I usually hold it. The picture quality is excellent.

I listen to all kinds of podcasts and out-of-my-area radio programs, mostly while knitting. There are free apps that will allow you to stream or download all kind of audio content. I personally use Beyondpod for podcasts and IHeartRadio for radio programs (both free) , but there are many other good apps for these functions.

I search for and read things on the internet, even doing some shopping. If you're as big an Amazon shopper as I've become, it's very easy to use a Fire to place or check on orders, or to do some browsing.

I read books from my rather large Amazon collection, and from the (free) Overdrive collection available through my library, and more free books from the Gutenberg Project collection (non-copyrighted classics). I listen to audiobooks - purchased in the past from Audible (I no longer have a subscription), free from Overdrive, and also free through Librivox (more non-copyrighted classics).

If you're an Amazon Prime subscriber, the Fire is particularly good for streaming music. They offer a huge collection of music of all kinds that you can stream or download for free. They have many good playlists, too, but I find the Google Music playlists quite a bit better, frankly.

Less traditionally, I use the Fire as an MP3 player. It's small enough to fit in most of my pants and coat pockets, or in my small handbag, so when I'm going to be out walking or using public transportation I just download a few podcasts or recorded books to listen to. Or for walking for exercise, I like to download a playlist from Amazon Prime music. As mentioned above, I don't find a lot of playlists I like there, but since they do have tons of good music, I just put together my own playlists and then download a few for use away from wifi. My old 7-inch Fire was just a bit too big and heavy to use this way, but the 6-inch is great. The battery died in my old Sansa MP3 player, but I won't need to replace it.

I've discovered that the Fire - amazingly - works pretty well as a phone, too. I have a phone number through Skype, along with unlimited calling in the US and Canada (a frugal  $5.15 per month for everything), so using that number I can both make and receive regular phone calls. I bought a headset (earphones plus microphone) designed for the Fire's single-plug input, and with that the call quality is usually superb. The Kindle works well for video calls, too... better than my Android tablet.

The Fire now has both a front and back camera. The front one is good for those Skype video calls. But I've also been taking pictures with the back camera and they're pretty good! Better than my phone, and because the Fire 6 is so small, I often have it with me. I usually share photos to Dropbox and then upload to my favored photo storage, which is Google. By the way, although Dropbox is not available in the Kindle app store, you can easily download and install it from the Dropbox website - it works perfectly on the Fire and is a good way to transfer photos and documents from one device to another.

Finally, since it's so portable, I have fallen into using the Fire as my alarm clock. The alarm is fast and easy to set. I bought the "official" case (highly recommended), so when I open the case the Fire automatically "wakes up" and shows me the time. When I close it, it turns off... a big battery-saver. I'm trying to learn to live without a wristwatch, so I often set an alarm for 5 minutes before I need to leave or do something. The clock/alarm app I use (free) is very fast and easy to set.

Why I Decided on the 6-Inch Fire

When my old 7-inch Kindle Fire stopped working, I was super-annoyed, but last August I decided to replace it with another Fire. Amazon has so many versions now, but I read all the specs and decided to take the plunge with a smaller, 6-inch version at $119. And I'm so glad I did!

They offer a 7-inch Fire now for an unbelievable $49, not a bad choice, but I chose to go with the 6-inch. First, the sound is a lot better. I use my Fire for virtually all my TV show-watching, as well as for video and voice calls, and the sound makes a big difference to me. I just don't like to have to always wear earphones. Second, I wanted the 16 GB internal storage, which is not available in the 7-inch, although this cheaper model does allow you to add an SD card to increase storage. I wish my 6-inch had that, but the sound outweighed the storage issue. 16 GB meets my needs since I keep most stuff in the cloud.

I shouldn't have worried about the smaller size... in fact, I find it preferable! It's lighter and easier to hold for reading. I learned that the 6- and 7-inch Fires each have the same total number of pixels, so the 6-inch appears a bit sharper, higher-resolution than the 7-inch. Pictures are gorgeous, print sharp and clear. The only reason to go with a larger, higher-resolution tablet (for lots more money) would be if you are far-sighted and it's not well-corrected.

And with the smaller size, I can stick it in my pocket or my little mini-purse and use it as an MP3 player, as mentioned above. It makes up for not having sprung for an expensive smart phone (still using my faithful old Blackberry Curve.) The Fire needs wifi for most things, but wifi seems to be everywhere now!

Bottom Line

For a total outlay of about $164, I have a complete entertainment and communication system that is extremely functional, including a good-quality case and headset. Here's what I got, if you're curious:

My Fire 6 16 GB With Special Offers was $119. The "special offers" are limited, inoffensive ads you see here and there. No way are they annoying enough to justify spending any money to eliminate them.

The case I use is the Amazon Standing Protective Case for Fire 6. At $24.99 it seemed a little pricey, but I've found it well worth the cost. It has the magnetic feature that allows opening the case to turn the tablet on and off, a big advantage in doing things like doing a quick check of the time or notifications. You can listen to your audio with the case closed, and the volume-adjust buttons work nicely even when the case is closed. I got the red, but I'd get a darker color next time. I've had to scrub it because it gets dirty more easily than I'd like.

I like this Headset for Kindle Fire, Chromebook, Android, etc. quite a bit. At $19.99 it was a good buy, and handy to use for voice communication on my Kindle (as well as my Chromebook and Android tablet). You can spend way, way more for headsets, but this one works just fine. It also gives me good sound when I have to use it for streaming video that, for some reason, is set at too low a volume to hear well, notably PBS Masterpiece Theater shows (free, and there's a nice Kindle app, too.)

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Falling Leaves and a Six-Month Update

It's been a long time since I posted to this blog. We were moving through spring and into summer, and I back then I was thinking about staying cool without air conditioning, as I've done for eight summers now. Turns out not to have been an issue. Happily, the shrubs and trees along the south-facing side of my lot have grown up enough to do a good job of shading the house and keeping it MUCH cooler. I was thinking it had been a cool summer until I checked the weather stats. It was actually a little hotter than normal. So it works! I had zero days last summer when I was uncomfortably hot.

My currently sodden pile of leaves...
and this is not all!
But... there is a downside to all that shade. Leaves. And now in mid-November, FALLING leaves. Lots and lots and lots of them. Fortunately my city does leaf collection, so I just need to sweep them over the curb, but they keep blowing back onto the sidewalk and I keep having to rake them back into the street. Inevitably, on the day the city leaf vacuum trucks come around, one or more of the neighbors will have decided to stay home and will be parked on part of the leaves, rendering them uncollectable. It's become one of those shrug-your-shoulders things... I've learned to stop fretting about it.

Many of the trees in my neighborhood are bare now, especially the tallest, and with the grey, gloomy, damp weather we've been having, things are taking on that dour, dreary, charcoal-drawing look that characterizes late November. Even though temperatures have remained fairly warm. My furnace has come on only a couple of times. I need to remember to change out the filter, though, before the cold weather hits later this month. Clean filters are worth the money and effort, since clogged filters cut down on air flow from the furnace, causing the furnace, and especially its fan, to work harder, translating into additional power usage.

I'm still tutoring (as a volunteer) too much - one of the reasons I've not been updating the blog - and have been increasingly conscious of a need to better balance my life. I have realized that while I still make time for my knitting and gardening and walks, I've been spending a lot more of my time with students than with friends and family. And students aren't really friends. They are nice people, and I enjoy them, but our relationship is not one of mutuality. I give and they mostly take. And I've noticed that while the newer students seem fairly cognizant that having a free small class and weekly one-on-one tutoring is an amazing privilege, students who have been in the program for a longer time start to take it, and me, for granted. You sometimes hear that people don't value things they don't pay for, and I see that being true in this case, at least for most. And I have to examine my own motives in spending so much of my time on this project, teaching newcomers to our country how to speak and write the language.

So I guess that can be a project for the coming months... restoring more balance to my life. Without the structure of a job to go to every day, I suspect that many of us retired folks do have to work at balancing the home, family, recreational, social, and volunteer parts of our new lives. I know I spent decades working too much and rarely finding the time to have an even marginally balanced life. Maybe, since that's practically all I knew, I found it comfortable to somewhat recreate it now in my retirement. And awareness is the first step towards course correction.

Well, the cozy inside days of late fall and winter are a perfect time for contemplation and planning. I turned 69 this year, which sounds very old to me, and I still have so many things I'd like to do. And I don't feel like the tutoring is really part of any of them. I need to deal with that.

Monday, April 6, 2015

Are Homemade Cleaners Worth Your While?

Back in the 1960’s, housewives read the Heloise column in the morning paper and learned to use hairspray to remove ballpoint pen ink stains from their husband’s shirts, and to use crumpled newspaper with a vinegar-water solution to clean windows. Did you know that, 50 years later, Heloise’s daughter still publishes magazine and newspaper columns, as well as maintaining a Heloise website? There are several books listed on Amazon, too. The latest is Handy Household Hints from Heloise: Hundreds of Great Ideas at Your Fingertips.

I learned a lot from Heloise - about easier ways to clean my home, how to do little things to save pennies here and there (and we know how these really do add up), doing laundry, recycling. She was out at the front of the movement that continues to this day... using nontoxic, everyday products like vinegar and baking soda to do much of your cleaning.

Today’s Sources of Cleaner Recipes

Today it’s not just Heloise. and the blogosphere are full of books and websites about natural, homemade cleaner recipes. Here are a few of the websites:
  • Rodale's recipes for 8 green cleaners that work. These include an all-purpose spray cleaner, a tile cleaner, an oven cleaner, window cleaner, lemon oil dusting liquid, air freshener, a gentle scouring cleaner, and laundry powder.
  • Apartment Therapy one-ups Rodale by providing 25 green cleaning recipes. The author claims that cleaners for almost every purpose can be made using various combinations of baking soda, white vinegar, hydrogen peroxide, borax, essential oils (such as tea tree oil, lavender oil, and eucalyptus oil), castile soap (such as Dr. Bronnerss), herbs and citrus peels, olive or other vegetable oil, and water.
  • HGTV’s article discusses ingredients used in green cleaning formulas and provides several recipes. Ingredients include white vinegar, baking soda, lemon, and rubbing alcohol. They also suggest adding a little ammonia to make strong cleaning solutions. Ammonia is often left out of “green” recipes because it is a strong alkali and therefore hazardous when undiluted. But it also provides strong grease-cutting power that may be needed at times, and is safe to use when handled properly (wear eye protection when mixing, for example, and NEVER combine ammonia with bleach (unless you want to damage your lungs with chlorine gas). 
  • Good Housekeeping Provides 9 recipes for homemade cleaners. These include the old “green” standbys of vinegar and baking soda, plus some non-natural ingredients such as ammonia, toothpaste, and dishwasher detergent. 

Is It Worth Your While to Make Your Own Cleaning Products?

There are good reasons for both making your own cleaners and for buying commercial products. So whether it's worth your while to make your own depends. It’s really a trade-off between convenience and effectiveness versus cost, environmental considerations and health. And how these balance out for you will probably vary from product to product.


There’s no question that it’s faster and easier to pull a bottle of cleaner off the supermarket shelf and bring it home. When you make a batch of cleaner, you usually need to have multiple ingredients on hand, as well as containers to mix, store, and dispense your cleaner. Many homemade cleaner recipes just call for a few things you might already have on hand, such as baking soda or vinegar. For others, however, you may have to hunt around for things like lemon grass oil or other essential oils, or you may even have to order them online.


Any of us who have purchased “green” cleaners have noticed that many don’t work as well as the “heavy duty” cleaners we used to buy. The same thing will be true for many homemade cleaners. That said, for many cleaning jobs you don’t need super powers. You can usually clean windows and mirror with just water and a towel. Adding a little something to the water is usually all you ever need. The same is true for kitchen counter sprays. Mothers with babies and young children may need a super-powerful laundry detergent. But empty-nesters like us may just need a basic detergent plus a bar of Fels Naptha soap for treating spots.


Most homemade cleaners will be cheaper than purchased cleaning products. There’s no way you’re going to find a bottle of window cleaner for sale that costs less than a cup or two of water, a little bit of vinegar, a drop of dish detergent, and a $1 spray bottle from the dollar store. Homemade may not always be cheaper, however, especially for some of the recipes that use more unusual (and costly) ingredients such as essential oils. There may also be commercial products sold at dollar stores that work as well, or almost as well, as the higher-priced brand name products sold at supermarkets. Some of these dollar store products may actually be cheaper than a homemade cleaner, especially when you include the cost of a container for storage or application.

Environmental and Health Concerns

Commercial cleaning products are made with a large number of chemicals, many of which are not good for the environment, your health, nor the health of your grandchildren and pets. And many or most are not specifically listed on the label.

The truth is, many of these may be causing allergies, sensitivities, and possibly even long term damage to our health we’re not aware of. And things that may not cause you a problem may be harmful to children or pets. For example, many people like to use pine oil cleaners for the fresh “natural” scent they leave behind. But vets recommend against using them around dogs, because they can cause liver damage. If they cause liver damage to dogs, what are they doing to OUR livers?

Homemade cleaning product recipes are now often touted as being “green.” Their ingredients are mostly non-toxic. Even potentially toxic ingredients like bleach and ammonia are quickly neutralized in the environment, when released in small amounts, and don’t cause any lasting harm. Making cleaning products at home from basic ingredients means you can know what is in your cleaner. There will be few, if any, undisclosed chemicals that you don’t understand. For people with allergies, liver damage, or other health problems, this factor may outweigh all the others.

Another environmental consideration is packaging. When you buy a bottle of liquid detergent, for example, its heavy plastic bottle goes into the recycling (hopefully) or the trash. You may feel OK about that if you recycle, but don't forget the additional environmental cost of manufacturing both the product and the packaging. Manufacturing in the US is far cleaner than it used to be, but it still requires a lot of energy, and inevitably results in some level of air and wastewater emissions.

This will also be true, remember, for the raw ingredients you use to make your homemade products. That vinegar and baking soda were manufactured, too, and someone had to produce the plastic or glass jug the vinegar came in, and the printed cardboard baking soda box.

Still, the biggest ingredient in many cleaners is water, and for many homemade cleaners you add only small amounts of other ingredients. Too, you’ll may use an existing container you’ve recycled for use in storing and applying your cleaner, and you’ll certainly reuse it when you need to make another batch. So from a packaging standpoint, homemade will usually come out ahead of purchased.

It’s Confusing... What Should I Do?

I know, it’s confusing for me, too.

Personally, I buy some cleaning products, and others I make. I really can’t see going to the trouble of making up one of those laundry soap recipes when a mid-sized bottle of laundry detergent lasts me for months. I’ve learned that we mostly use way too much detergent, and have cut way back on both that and softener.

In the bathroom, I prefer to use a scouring cleanser (like Comet) and commercial toilet cleaner for heavy cleaning, but I use homemade cleaning solutions for wiping down tile, tub, sinks and other surfaces. And of course vinegar, water, and crumbled newspaper are better than Windex for windows and mirrors.

I’d say just weigh your situation and needs, and the factors listed above, and make the best decision you can. But don’t make spreadsheets or spend hours at it. Use your knowledge and common sense. Remember that as an empty-nester, your need for cleaning products is probably a lot lower than when you had to clean up after a family. On the other hand, because things don’t usually get as dirty, you will likely have less need for really strong cleaners. Above all, your own priorities, such as health, finances, and available time, should be the deciding factors.

Friday, April 3, 2015

How Not to Be Seen as a Needy Old Person

Easter is this Sunday, and holidays are one of the hardest times for many older folks. Isolation and loneliness are hazards of getting older for some of us, and too often we find ourselves feeling even lonelier when our hopes for family contact and togetherness are dashed. If this happens to you, you're not alone. 

Disrespect of the Elderly

It sometimes surprises me how much less our society, nowadays, honors and values its elders, compared to generations past. I wrote about this in a Mother’s Day post a while back, titled Honor Thy Parents? Not so Much for Some

Then the other day I was reading some blog post comments and got a real eye-opener. Someone asked what she should "do about" an aging neighbor who had been making overtures of friendship. The writer, a young mother, said she already taking care of two elderly relatives and didn’t need another old person to take care of. Her first assumption, you see, was that if an older person wanted to be friends, there was an ulterior motive... the older person was obviously looking for younger neighbors to do things for her.

Some subsequent commenters disagreed and said they had older neighbors who were very independent and actually helped out their younger neighbors. But there were more than a few who agreed that old people just expect to have everyone do stuff for them, blah, blah, blah. and that the original poster would do herself a favor by just staying away. 

How Old People Are Viewed by the Younger Generation

These days, younger people are more and more seeing older folks as greedy, sucking up resources that should be theirs (like Social Security, despite the fact that we all paid into it for years and years). We oldsters are all supposedly expecting to be taken care of. I guess this is a reflection of increasing narcissism and looser family ties in our culture, but it is an attitude that exists, even in our own children sometimes, and we need to learn how to deal with it

The Importance of Not Seeming Needy

I more recently wrote, in Don't Be a Pathetic Old Person, that one of the most important tenets in successfully practicing Stealth Frugality is to not be pathetic. It’s partly for our own self-respect, but these days it’s also a form of self-protection. The more needy you seem to younger people, the more many of them will avoid you and disrespect you. We need social ties with people of all ages, including our families, so we need to be sure we’re not unthinkingly doing things that may alienate them.

The good news is that there are many things you can do to make you seem capable, self-sufficient, and abundant if not affluent. These will make family members, younger people, and even more affluent people your own age, feel more comfortable about differences between your situations. 

You're Reframing... Not Faking It

And there are undeniable differences. This is not about lying or covering up! You’re not trying to pretend to have more money than you actually do, or to be in perfect health when you have some serious problems. Maybe what I’ve heard called “reframing” is the best way to describe the new attitude you must learn to project. This requires a positive attitude, optimism, and a bit of faith. You have to learn to view your circumstances in a positive light. Although you aren’t ignoring the negative - and there’s always some of that - you focus on the good in everything.

In other words, you learn to behave and to talk about your situation and choices in a manner that does not make others feel uncomfortable or that they have to "do something" for you. When people, especially younger people, feel your very presence is a call for them to "do something" to help you, sadly, most of them will begin to avoid you like the proverbial plague. 

Some Ways to Seem Independent, not Needy

I am by no means a master at this, but I’m getting better every day. Here are some ideas: 
  • Don’t be asking for help all the time unless you really need it. It is true that a lot of old people are in the habit of asking others to do things for them that they could very well do for themselves. One of my students has an older neighbor who frequently asks my student to get things for her when she goes to the store. My student never complains, but I would get tired of it. Do your own shopping, or learn to order things online. Take care of yourself physically so that with luck, you’ll continue to be able to do your own shopping, shovel snow from your sidewalks and mow your lawn. Learn how to do small household repairs, or hire a handyman. Don’t feed into the stereotype of older people always asking others for help. Save your requests for when you really need it.
  • Instead, do things for others. Try to be generous to everyone, even in little ways. Make a list of birthdays, get a bunch of cards at the dollar store, and send everyone cards for their birthdays. Pick up and put away your neighbor’s trash cans when they blow into the street. Give small gifts as often as possible and to as many people as possible, even if it’s just a clipping from the newspaper about something they’re interested in, a loaf of home baked bread or some cookies, vegetables from your garden, or a small, inexpensive item from your gift stash. Offer to take in mail and water plants when neighbors go on vacation, or to babysit if they have young children.
  • Never say, "I can't afford that." And that's actually true much of the time, by the way. Everything we do involving money is a function of our personal choices, of how we prioritize our needs against what we have available to pay for them. There's very little I couldn't afford, at least briefly, but I just don't want to make the sacrifices that would be needed for a lot of things. I could afford a month-long trip to Europe, for example. Many of us could even if we had to clean out our bank account, max out our credit cards, mortgage our home, sell our stuff, or take out a big loan. But we rarely want to do those things, so we make more modest travel plans. 
  • Express happiness and gratitude at all you do have. When you appreciate what's good in your situation and possessions, it is very appealing to others. And there are always good things in every situation. You can't afford a big, fancy house? Then you learn to appreciate the convenience and reduced upkeep of a small home or apartment. A friend had to move into a small studio apartment, and although she had to give away many of her things, she hasn’t complained but instead enthuses over her gorgeous view, the laundry facilities right on her own floor, and the proximity to shopping. I had to stop driving because of my eyesight, but I tell everyone how good it is that I have a reason to walk a lot, and how convenient it is to take the bus and not to have to deal with car upkeep. This needs to be true, joyful appreciation, by the way, not the grudging kind.
  • Give people valid reasons, other than cost, why you cannot or are not going to do or buy something. Or say nothing at all. I don't go out to eat a lot at restaurants, for example, because restaurant food is just not that healthy. It's also far less expensive to eat at home, but I don't need to say that. 
  • It’s ok to say you like... or love... things you’re not going to buy. Going shopping with a friend at an upscale department store can be fun. It’s fine to admire all the gorgeous things you see (and can’t afford). Just don't express a sad longing for them... that’s a little pathetic. I view upscale “window shopping” like a trip to a museum. You can enjoy without buying. Plus, knowing what good quality merchandise looks like helps you make better choices at discount stores and flea markets, doesn’t it? Sometimes a friend will urge you to buy something you have said you really like. Just say you need to think about it. Personally, I’ve found that when I make impulsive purchases they often turn out not to be what I really need. So I usually just say I have made it a policy to think about things a bit before I buy them, so that I don’t end up with closets crammed with stuff I don’t use. It gets you off the hook, but it’s actually a good habit to form.
  • Use environmental concerns as a rationale for frugalities. Not using a car, keeping your thermostat low in the winter and not using air conditioning? Not using a dishwasher and drying clothes on a clothesline? These are all genuinely good for the environment because they cut back on energy use. They save you money too, but you don’t need to say that.
  • State a decided preference for things that are within your budget. You can give a reason, or not. I tell people I do a lot of shopping at a small discount market in my neighborhood. True, the prices are great and it really keeps my food budget in line. But mostly I explain it by the convenience. And it is super convenient to just dash over there on foot, rather than waiting for a bus and traveling much farther to a big supermarket. I also subscribe only to the Basic cable lineup and so don’t get most of the cable channels my friends and family do. I tell people have the basic only so that my grandchildren have something to watch when they come over. I mostly read, and the few TV programs I watch are via streaming video - Amazon Prime or Netflix. I don’t want to pay the $100 or so many people shell out for their cable packages, but I don’t need to mention that. 

Make This a Gift to Yourself

Notice that nothing I say to explain my choices, if necessary, is untrue. You don’t have to be a liar to do this reframing. Just focus on the positive. Appreciate the heck out of all you do have. Be as frugal as you need to, but do it in a way that is “stealthy,” rather than talking about it to everyone. Doing this will make you feel more abundant. That in turn will not only make you feel happy, but it will also help you be more generous with others And doing all this, my friend, will keep YOU from becoming one of those pathetic, needy old people that others avoid.